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My Sole Journey

2009-01-19T08:59:00.004-05:00

My Sole Journey

“Write the Vision and Make it plain. . .” Habakkuk 2:2

Last week I turned 28 and one by one my girlfriends asked me how I felt about getting older. Honestly, 27 was a very interesting time of my life. On this sole journey I realize that learning about myself takes a lifetime. We are always revolving and changing. Life is about choices. Some choices were good and some were bad, but choices we have to make in order to live. The hardest part of getting older for me is wondering where all that time went. I remember I had so many goals and aspirations but some where down the journey I made a choice that landed me here. Now I have to create a new set of goals for myself.

Yesterday, I created a vision board to help me remember the goals I have set for this year. I realize that is it easy to get off track if you are not reminded daily of where you want your journey to take you. The word says to write the vision and make it plain. I challenge you to look over the past few years. Have you obtained the goals that you set for yourself? If not, it is not too late. Grab a poster board and create a vision board of the goals you would like to obtain. If this year is about change then we need to make sure we make the necessary changes in our life to obtain our goals. Today I traded in those shoes of 27 for a pink zebra striped stiletto because I am walking into 28 in style!!

Sole Sister

The Lemons of 2008

2009-01-05T13:46:00.002-05:00

"The Lemons of 2008"

"When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Lemonade"

Whoever came up with the saying “When life hands you lemons, Make lemonade” must have gone through a lot of situations in life. Life threw me many lemons in 2008. I lost my job, lost love, found new love, foreclosed on my townhouse, received rejection after rejection letters for employment, had to relocate and almost lost my mind. All those lemons and I had to quickly learn to make lemonade. The lemons of unemployment allowed me to make lemonade of better money management. The lemons of rejection letters from employers allowed me to create lemonade of better business ideas and allowed me to acquire office space to expand my business. The lemons of a failed marriage allowed me to create lemonade of a new love and new understanding of communication and trust. I challenge you to look back over the trials and situations of 2008 and remember all those lemons life gave you. How did you use those lemons to create your own unique lemonade? What lessons will you take with you into this New Year? We are faced with many different situations but it is up to us to turn every negative situation around into something positive in our lives. Today I trade in those old shoes of 2008 for a nice wild cherry colored stiletto boot because I am going to be prepared for the lemons of 2009 in style.

Dream the Impossible Dream

2008-11-05T11:15:00.002-05:00

Dream the Impossible Dream
“Her husband is respected at the city gate, where he takes his seat among the elders of the land” (Proverbs 31:23)

This is an exciting time in our history. I would have never imagined having an African American President in my lifetime. I never dreamed that I had the opportunity to run for the highest position in our country. History has been made and may doors have now been open to us and our children. As I watched Obama’s speech last night I realized that not only do we have the first African American President we have the first African American first lady. Everyone women that reads this blog understands that women are the backbone of every family. We wear many hats to make sure our husbands, boyfriends, brothers and male friends can get the job done. We manage the finances, household maintenance, meals, nurturing, and so much more while working and feeding our own spirits.

I remember growing up and my role model being Clair Huxtable. I wanted to be an attorney with a wonderful husband and lots of kids. Although she was a fictitious character she allowed me to dream beyond my own neighborhood. The Cosby Show allowed me to dream that I could be successful business woman while still taking care of my home. Today our children have a role model that is not fictitious. Michelle Obama is a strong woman that must now take on the role as the first lady of our country. She has to cover her husband and maintain a home that will allow him to lead this country at our most difficult time in history. Today I stand proud of the decision of American and prayerful for the tough times ahead. As women we need to recognize our strength and importance in our own households. We have witnessed a time in history that our daughters, sisters and girlfriends will never forget. We have the opportunity to dream that impossible dream. I challenge you to look at your own life and decide what dreams have been deferred because you thought they were impossible. Make a list of those dreams and post them some where visible. Today I have kicked off those fearful loafers for a red and blue stiletto because I will work towards accomplishing my dreams in style.

Sole Sister

Comfort Feet

2008-10-06T12:37:00.004-04:00

"Comfort Feet"

We do not want you to become lazy but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised. (Hebrew 6:12)

I woke up this morning and felt something lying beside me. It was strange and I had not really noticed it before. I moved my hand to feel it and there it was my STOMACH hanging over my pajama pants. I could have screamed! When did I go from a size 125 to as size 145? Did someone secretly stuff doughnuts in my mouth to cause this to happen? Had I been avoiding mirrors for the past few months? No matter what excuse I could come up with the answer is I let myself go. I understand some of you are saying that I am petite and should not be complaining but going from 125-145 is not an easy thing to accept. None of my clothes fit and I feel like I need to go on a liquid diet quick.

It is funny how we get comfortable with ourselves. Being in a new relationship we do not do the things we use to do. I use to try to make myself presentable at all times when I was meeting up with my friend. Now I walk around with no make up and my hair wrapped up. I started eating more and working out less. I no long have an active lifestyle and I need to jump start my motivation to improve. Many of us do not have this issue in our relationships but we get comfortable in our jobs and with family and friends. We start a job with drive and motivation to become the best and after a few months of the rat race, panty hose and uncomfortable heels we start complaining and doing less work. What ever you have let go and become to comfortable in your life remember that God wants us to be the best we can at all time. Laziness is not a characteristic that a virtuous woman has and we need to make sure we are striving to become a virtuous woman everyday. Today I have traded in my worn our slippers for a beautiful turquoise printed stiletto because I am going be all I can be in style.

Sole Sister

Preparing for the Storm

2008-08-01T09:40:00.003-04:00

Preparing for the Storm

" Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground. . ." Ephesians 6:13

Storm after Storm after Storm, it seems that every time I come out of a storm I run right back into another one. Before I can even catch my breath I am right back into the middle of a whirlwind. There were many days that I felt overwhelmed and defeated. When you are faced with situation after situation you are confused about the decisions you have made and the direction of your life. You tend to worry and bring more stress to the situation because you do not put your trust in Him. A few months ago I would have broke down but I am happy to say that I am ready for the storm. I am stronger than ever now that I have experienced these situations in my life. I am no Job but I can say that God has prepared me for the hard times to come. Instead of complaining about the hard times I was experiencing in life I started praying. I started reading scriptures to give me strength. Now my tears are tears of frustration not tears of worry or fear. I no longer worry about the out come of my situation because I know He is in control of the storm. Today I have thrown out those soaked up loafers for a cute pair of pink rain boots because I am going to be prepared for my storms with confidence and style.

Sole sister

Coordinating Shoes

2008-06-30T15:43:00.003-04:00

Coordinating Shoes

Your beauty should not come from outward adornment; . . . instead it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 1 Peter 3:3-4

I love to coordinate. When I am going out on a date or a night on the town with the girls I love to match my shoes with my purse to accentuate my outfit. To top it off I always like to have on the best jewelry to match. I may not shop at Neiman Marcus or Bloomingdales but I know how to hook my Target outfit up! I like to look nice and presentable no matter where I go. After really getting into the word and learning more about my calling from God I ran across a scripture that talked about inner beauty. I realized that no matter how well I looked on the outside my attitude and true beauty was what was in the inside. Now I do not know about you but I have yet to accessorize my inner self the way I do my outer appearance. Your inner self consists of more than just your attitude. It is your heart and emotions. Your inside is the reflection of what you pour into your soul. I realized that I have yet to accessorize my inside beauty with confidence and true love for myself. I realized that I have not accessorized my inside with the word like I needed too. I realized that my inside lacked "coordination". My faith did not compliment my walk. My confidence did not compliment my attitude and love for myself. I realized that I had to work on my inner beauty just as much as I needed to keep my outer beauty together. I challenge you to look at your inner self and identify if your “accessories” match your inner beauty. If not then I challenge you to ask God to give you the things that are needed to make sure your inner beauty is just as presentable as your outward beauty. I have traded in my old shoes for a nice green snake skin platform because I am going to pour into my inner self with style.

Sole Sister

2008-06-17T15:12:00.003-04:00

Reinvent You (oldie but goodie)
“Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. . . “(Psalm 51:10)

For all of you that are in your mid-twenties I am sure you are just entering or just exiting your quarter-life crisis! For all of you that are 30 years old or older, SHAME on you for not warning us. There should be a greeting card that you receive on your 25/26^th birthday that is a warning for what is to come. I remember waking up one day and being totally confused. Am I in the right career? Am I really, ready to be someone’s wife? Is she really my friend? Is my favorite color purple or green? All the things that I thought I knew and understood were all in question. Had I lost my mind? Am I experiencing early Alzheimer’s? NO! I was experiencing my first quarter-life crisis.
I do not know if men experience it like us but it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was a college graduate, working at my first real job, married, homeowner, and starting a new business. Professionally I was doing very well. The problem was internally I was a wreck. I realized that I did not like where I was and who I am becoming. I always thought I would grow up to be an executive at a top corporation, have 2.5 kids, bake fresh cookies everyday, and be a Girl Scout troop leader. Much to my surprise, I want to run my own corporation, have 1 kid, and I DO NOT LIKE COOKIES!!!
I believe that women change constantly. Just when we think we have our lives figured out something else spins out of control. We go through these transformations to prepare us for our next phases in life. I understand now that this phase is not a crisis but a motivation to reinvent myself. As women we must reinvent ourselves often. If you find yourself stuck in a dead end job with no where to turn, reinvent your career! If you are in a dead end relationship that seems to never end, reinvent your love! If you are weary and your burdens seem too hard to bear, reinvent your faith! I urge each of you to look at yourselves and evaluate your current position in life. I am kicking off those old shoes I use to wear in exchange for a pink, graffiti print stiletto because I am a new ME!

Sole Sister

Scuffed up and worn out

2008-06-03T14:29:00.006-04:00

Scuffed Up and Worn Out

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."
(Ecclesiastes 3:1)

I am the worst when it comes to shoes. I usually cannot wear the same shoes from season to season. I scuff them up and wear them out. I cannot explain it but it has always been a problem for me. I never have a hard time throwing them out and exchanging them for a new pair. If I am so carefree with my shoes why do I hold on to friendships for so long? Sometimes I just do not know when it is time to let go. I have tried to chase people down that have made it clear that I am no longer important in their lives as I was before. I do not know if it is fear of rejection or a need to feel liked but it is something that needs to change. I received an email one day that stated "People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime". When someone is in your life for a reason they are there to meet a need. They are there for whatever reason you need them to be. When someone is in your life for a season they are there for a certain phase in your life. Whether it is your teens, twenties, thirties or during a tough time they are there to teach you something about this season and help you get through. Sometimes these seasonal friends can be mistaken for the next group which is the lifetime friends. The lifetime friends are there throughout your ups and downs. They are there during your good phases and life and support you through your bad times. They never leave you but give you honest and healthy support.

I have come to recognize people that fit in each of these categories. I realize that each person was instrumental in my growth as a woman. Although it has taken a few painful situations to realize this, I understand their purpose in my life and I can be thankful instead of upset.

I challenge you to think about the different people in your life and accept them for whatever category that they fit in. Realize that many will not be around for a lifetime and learn to love them as long as they are there. I have traded in my scuffed up shoes for a unique yellow sandal because I am going to live life in style.

Sole Sister

Walking in the Unknown

2008-05-27T12:32:00.002-04:00

Walking in the Unknown
“For we walk by faith and not by sight. . .” (2 Corinthians 5:7)

I have had my share of tough times and hard situations. Sometimes, when you vent to your family and friends the first thing everyone says is to have a “little faith”. Now just how much is a little faith? I know you have heard this saying over and over again. They sing it in your church or your pastor says it on Sunday morning but no one is really handing out manuals on how to acquire the needed amount of faith. I am sorry but I will go on record to be the first to admit I was getting tired of hearing this over and over again. I could not feel, see or hear faith. Faith was something I read about but did not really understand until now. I think that believing the unknown is one of the hardest things you can do as a Christian. I had to stop agreeing with everyone and get real with God. I had to be honest of my feelings and struggle with faith. It was then that my breakthrough came. I now know that faith was something that I had to build daily. Some people can go through a life changing event and instantly have faith but I am hard headed. I needed more that just situations I need to build faith daily to truly understand it. I do not know where you are in this journey of life but faith is needed to survive. Walking down an unknown path is not easy but I am a witness that it works. I challenge you to tap into your faith and check to see if you need to start building it daily before the tough times come. If you are not in need of a faith check then encourage your friends to keep the faith and pray that they understand what that means. Today I trade in those wore out shoes for a yellow, polka dotted stiletto because I am walking by faith in style.

Sole Sister

My Very Own Pity Party

2008-05-14T09:17:00.003-04:00

“My Very Own Pity Party”

"Humble yourself . . . that he may exalt you in due time." (1 Peter 5:6)

I have been in a slump!!! I didn’t want to curl my hair, put on makeup, or feel like leaving the house!!! I didn’t shower until the afternoon and I ate like Kroger was experiencing a shortage of groceries. I stopped washing the clothes and dishes. My apartment started to look just how I felt. I was having my own pity party. I had physically put myself in a hole and did not want to be bothered. I answered the phone for certain people and always answered FINE with a smile when asked how I was doing. Who wants to admit that they feel defeated? Definitely not me! I have a degree and years of experience and I am not even getting interviews. I felt ashamed, broken and worthless. I felt that life had issued me a certificate of defeat. I prayed and prayed and praised God every morning. I kept waiting for my “blessing to fall down” and would fall deeper and deeper in my slump as each day passed by. My boyfriend thought I was insane and I started to believe him. The funny thing is all this time I was praising God I was not following through with my daily life. I would pray and praise then cuss and complain. (all in the same hour!) Please tell me I am not the only one who has experienced the pity party. If so I am hear to say I have shut that party down.

I had to realize that I needed to follow through with my praise and pray with my daily activities. I didn’t even recognize that in the midst of being unemployed I had a roof over my head and all the bills were paid. He provided my business with just enough customers to stay on top of my necessities. If you are in a slump then I challenge you today to shower, curl your hair, put on your M.A.C makeup and take a walk in the park. Write a list down of the positive things and realize that everyone experiences a slump in life. I have take off those worn out house shoes for a nice purple and gold stiletto because I am embracing life with style.

Sole Sister

Tight Fit

2008-04-15T10:30:00.004-04:00

Tight Fit

"Do not be mislead, bad company corrupts good character. . ." (1 Corinthians 15:33)

I have these tan stiletto mules designed by Guess that are so cute!! I got them on sale at Dillard’s about two years ago. I remember walking by the shoe section and immediately seeing them. I swear they were calling me over to buy them. They have become my favorite pair of shoes! I wear them with my fitted jeans and I feel tall and great. The problem is they hurt my feet so bad. I mean as soon as I put them on and walk around they start to hurt. I remember the first day I wore them. I wore them on the way to the airport to make room in my suitcase for my other shoes. I thought I was so cute. I parked and made my way to my gate and as soon as I got through security they began to hurt. I mean they hurt me so bad by the time I made it to my gate I was almost in tears. I had already checked my bag and I had no other options but to continue to wear those shoes. I know I am not the only one who has experienced this. Every time I look at them I know they are going to hurt but sometimes I wear them anyway. It is crazy that I wear those shoes even though they give me so much pain.

It is funny because my tan stiletto is an example of my past relationships. I continued to stay in friendships and relationships when I knew they were not a good fit. I stayed because I did not want to throw away all the time I had invested. I stayed in friendships because I wanted to be accepted even though they hurt me over and over again. I have stayed in friendships that I outgrew only to end in misunderstanding or miscommunication. I realize that these relationships only lead to self destruction. I stop being me to accommodate and nurture a dead-end relationship. If you find yourself in a similar situation I challenge you to take a good look at those painful “shoes” in your life and decide if it is worth it. I have decided that from now on I will not only look for style but also comfort. I have thrown out those tan stiletto mules for a bronze, snake skinned platform because I am going to walk in my new relationships with comfort and style.

Sole Sister

Sinking Feet

2008-04-07T11:10:00.005-04:00

Sinking Feet

“I pray that Gods great power would make you strong and that you will have joy as you wait and do not give up. . .” (Colossians 1:11, NLV)

Do you remember the old adventure movies? There was always a scene where someone fell into quicksand. I have always been afraid of quicksand. The people in these scenes would look so helpless. They would try aimlessly to grab on a tree limb or a vine to pull them out of the pit. Often times I have felt like I have landed in a pit of quicksand. It would seem like when one bad thing would happen another situation would follow then another bad situation would appear until I was neck deep in a pit of sinking situations. My electric bill would be due, my account would be over drawn, my car would overheat, my boss and I would argue, and my boyfriend would start acting up all in the same week!!!! Then finally when I had enough I would reach for a tree limb or vine to pull myself out. I do not know about you but I really do not ask for help or start reaching to save my life until my back is against the wall. As soon as I feel like I have exhausted all options and my blood pressure is to the roof, I fall on my knees and ask God to fix my mess. I mean I pull out all the scriptures or sayings I can remember, “He will never leave you nor forsake you” or “He will never put more on you then you can bear”. Then to pour it on thick I play my gospel music all day and ask God to give me a SIGN. Then suddenly when I have cried my last tear and my true sincerity finally breaks through God presents me with my breakthrough. Now I do not know about you but going through all those emotions is not the way he wants us to live. If I would just praise Him daily and sincerely ask for strength daily then I would not have to aimlessly grab for my tree limb to pull me out. I need to fall on my knees daily thanking God for every situation good or bad. I need to ask God for the strength to get through my situations. I challenge you to develop a daily relationship with him. I have decided to take 5 or 10 minute “check ups” throughout the day to praise Him and thank him for my situations. I challenge you to do the same. Today I have taken off those mudded shoes for an orange, peep toe platform because I am going to praise God in style.

Sole Sister

My Shoe Box

2008-03-31T10:49:00.003-04:00

"My Shoe Box"

"Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment . . ." Romans 12:3

I have realized that I am not so friendly as I appear. I always find favor with strangers and friends but I am not as nice as I thought. I have a problem with putting people in my own "shoe box". My "shoe box" only allows you to act and behave the way I want you to act and behave. If you step out of my "shoe box" I get frustrated an stop all communication. Let me explain. If I have a friend that treats me wrong outside of what my expectations I have for them I stop talking to them and delete them from my cell phone. I never explain to them what they have done I just politely go to my address book on my cell phone and hit DELETE. This has caused me to lose lots of friends over the years.
I have acknowledged this flaw of mine and I realize that I need to love people for who they are and not who I want them to be. Everyone has their own personalities and characteristics. I challenged myself to contact those people that I deleted and apologize for not being honest about my feelings. Whether they accept my apologies or not it was my place to do my part. I will try to love people and accept them for who they are going forward. I know I will never be perfect but I strive to correct the flaws that I have. I have thrown away my "shoe box" of expectations and replaced it with an open heart and mind to accept people for who they are.

Sole Sister

Lost Soles

2008-03-26T11:22:00.006-04:00

Lost Soles

Damnit! I did it again. Every time I get in a relationship I some how lose myself. If they like golf, I watch Tiger Woods every time he is on TV. If they like basketball, I am a March Madness Fool!!! If they like marching bands, I am at the next battle of the bands cheering them on. Why does this seem to happen. Men do not change their routines so why do we change. Being in a new relationship you spend so much time learning and pleasing each other you forget about yourself. you stop reading books, watching Oprah, and sneak to read your favorite magazine. Ok, I might be exaggerating a little but you know it is true. Survey your friends and they will agree. As women we are genetically wired to nurture and support our loved ones. It is our position to stroke egos of our men and support them. The problem is we tend to give up too much. We give too much to our significant others, children, family and friends and at the end of the day we have no more to give ourselves. Well, I am trying to work on this in my new relationship. Whether I go to Barnes and Noble to read, walk around target, or go out for drinks with friends I plan to schedule time for myself. If you find yourself in this situation then I challenge you to go out and eat your favorite ice cream, watch Oprah, and read a good book. Take a little bit of yourself back. Today I have traded in those worn out shoes for a nice turquoise and green rhinestone stiletto because I am taking time for me in style.

Sole Sister